Nat Geo is running "SharkFest". I turned it on last night in hopes that it was an improvement of Discovery's "Shark Week" which has become sheer fantasy at this point.
Well, I wasn't at all impressed. The one I was watching, and tossing things at the TV over, was about a couple of fatal shark attacks in the Seychelles Islands a few years ago that occurred in the span of 2 weeks or so. It was a "Mockumentery" about the possible cause of the attacks and why. Time for these shows to be fed to the sharks...
How was it annoying and just plain wrong, let me count the ways...
- Spent a lot of time discussing whether or not it was the same shark. They went through a lot of BS of whether or not this could happen, including, of course, NJ 1916. Turns out the autopsies had already said it was the the same shark. 10 minutes of my life lost because of 30 seconds of data.
- Then they went through the possible culprits. Anyone with 1/2 a brain would immediately say, Tiger or Bull shark being that the Seychelles are tropical, but no, the show needed to drag this out.
- First culprit, Great White, "WTF everyone knows Whitey does't like warm water?" So now we see footage of GWS flying out of the water with seals in their mouths and interviews with GWS scientists until the inevitable, "Nope, not a great white. They don't like warm water." DUH, there went another 10 min.
- Next stop, tiger shark, a real possibility in the tropics. More discussion by experts, footage of tigers and then, "Well autopsies didn't show evidence of the bite marks of tiger". Another 10 min of my life I'll never get back.
- Next perp hypothesis, bull shark. More BS and footage and finally a "well you know, there was a shark tooth fragment found on autopsy and is was a bull shark!" SHOCKING!! 10 min down the drain when they already had the answer.
- OK, now time for the "whys" and this really was off the wall. My initial reaction was "God knows", but no, we had to explore 2 possibilities, both feeble at best...
- Could have it been because of the fiber optic cables that the Seychelles had recently installed? "You do know that sharks are attracted and are very sensitive to electric currents." So we get to hear and see all the stuff that we already know about sharks and electricity. Well they finally say, "Oh, those cables were installed AFTER the attacks so it couldn't have been them.
Hey DUMBASSES at NatGeo, fiber optic cables have NO ELECTRICITY!! They transmit LIGHT!! Another 10 minutes shot and I was hopping mad. They tried to make a case for a cable that wasn't there at the time of the attacks, and even if it was, it isn't a cable that conducts electricity. This "reason" should have never been presented.
- The next hypothesis was that pirate activity in the area might be dumping dead humans into the water, and sharks may have begun to develop a taste for human flesh. Not such a bad one here. Sharks followed behind slave ships in the 18 & 19 centuries waiting for the ship to dispose of corpses. Well turns out the Seychelles pirates weren't killing and dumping anyone so no, not a probable cause. At least this one was only 5 min.
- So why??? Well the inevitable "We may never know" came out, ugghhh!!
Want to lose an hour of your life that you'll never get back, watch it. I do hope you all have better things to do...
